Statutory Warning - This is purely a piece of fiction and any resemblance to any person, place, institution or otherwise is completely non-intentional and no responsibility would lie with the publisher of this blog or with those who have a deemed copyright thereof. Also this piece of creativity has no legal effect and should not be taken seriously, but is intended to create legal humour.
The R. A. Podar College Act, 1941 NO. 1 of 1941
[ 7th February 1941 ]
An Act to declare R. A. Podar College an institution enabling education of national importance and to provide for its incorporation and matters connected therewith or incidental thereto;
WHEREAS this Act is being enacted to make quality education in commerce available to all students in Mumbai;
WHEREAS the Senate understands the super-wide scope of running an esteemed institution and finds it expedient upon itself to take such a step; and
WHEREAS this Act provides only indicators and none may sue the other or others for any violation of the sections set hereinforth,
BE it enacted by the Senate of the University in the run-up to the
- Short title and commencement -(1) This Act may be called the R. A. Podar College Act, 1941.
- (i) The Act hereby empowers R. A. Podar College, hereinafter referred to as ‘The College’, to permit apparently education seeking citizens, referred henceforth as ‘students’, to seek admission thereto.
(ii) The students shall pay forthwith fees as decided from time to time by the powers that are.
- (i) No student shall be barred from seeking admission, whatever be inter alia his caste, creed, religion, race, sex or place of domicile.
(ii) The college reserves the right to not permit admission of students below a certain qualifying score.
- Every student whatever be his dad’s business or name, is generally supposed to wear a proof of identification, defined under this Act as an ‘I-Card’, failing which he may attract suitable penal action as this Act may provide.
- (i) A sensible soul shall, as the commonly available sense dictates, not err by being super intelligent and shall not possess qualities including fortitude, compassion towards the larger interests of the social order, forbearance and moral fiber.
PROVIDED that such state of affairs as laid down by the foregoing sub-section (i) to section (5) fail to exist and that the said sensible soul is indeed a true social servant, he may choose to profess education on deserving candidates who manage to wrestle through hundreds of other rats and secure the right to enter this prestigious institution.
(ii) The sensible soul, henceforth shall be addressed as Professor and shall without fail affix his signatorial imprints on a certain lined set of bound papers commonly referred to as Muster.
- Rules which govern the college, but shall remain unspoken till spoken –
(i) The attire will not be anything to outrage the modesty of even the most immodest of all.
(ii) The students are without delay warned to respect everyone who sits in the staff common room as well as those who help the college run efficiently and smoothly.
(iii) (a) Every candidate who resembles even remotely a member of the student species is deemed to bear in mind that usage of mobile phones is generally restricted within the college premises.
(b) Students are requested to make calls outside college and then enter the college.
- Rights and duties of species Student and Professors.
(i) (a) Every student shall, even if he does not demand, be entitled to predefined privileges which shall inter alia include
(1) Right to attend lectures and if having excess attendance then bunk the same for some other worthwhile activity;
(2) Right to sit in the canteen without ordering anything for hours on end;
(3) Right to use facilities to fulfill Nature’s jobs on time.
(b) Every student shall, without prejudice to the aforesaid rights, be required to perform certain duties which even if not penned down in clear terms should be forthcoming from within the conscience of the student
(1) Duty to keep the college premises clean from their side;
(2) Duty to safeguard the moral integrity of the college;
(3) Duty to voluntarily participate in activities which may sometimes not be related to studies.
(ii) (a) Rights which every Professor shall possess notwithstanding the number years of service put in
(1) Right to prepare a consolidated list of attendance and/or absenteeism, whichever is easier;
(2) Right to not allow students wander into the staff room;
(3) Right to deduct marks from the projects of students, if any exist, but without making the sub-total dive into negativity, if the student fails to submit the same within the stipulated period, as extended from time to time;
(4) Right to articulate elements of protest by exiting from the lecture without obtaining attendance of the then present minority if the students or any other related beings cause disturbance not only of the physical atmosphere but shall also include the psychological and the non-existent spiritual self.
(b) Duties which every Professor should adhere to
(1) Duty to finish the seemingly vast portion, especially for the students who do not have the privilege, time or otherwise of attending tuition classes;
(2) Duty to bring the hapless and distressed souls of students who seem to have lost the right track of life, back on the correct path;
(3) Duty to be unbiased and not indulge in favouritism.
- Rules related to the functioning of the heritage site nestled between the Gymkhana and the office.
(i) A student can order anything which makes an appearance on the menu card, whether available or not, and has to make a payment for it regardless whether he likes it or not.
(ii) The word ‘Chandra’ shall generally impart on you the status of being a frequent canteen visitor having good contacts with the powers that are thereat, and shall aid you in your conquest to place an order so satiate your inner self.
(iii) The place shall remain in dim lighting even at night time so as to avoid the students from attracting any visual defects due to excessive brightness.
- Code of Conduct pertaining to the sacred floors of the college
(i) Students and library users are allowed to read save the fact that one cannot run around in fun and merry for which the katta has been provided.
(ii) (a) A deposit of Rs. 100 shall be made by those seeking entry to the abode of learning, which shall be later refunded if the student manages to preserve and return the small chit of paper termed as receipt.
(b) No interest shall be payable during the said period of deposit.
(iii) Few students shall be awarded every year, the ‘Best Student of the Library’ award if there are maximum books against his name, even though he might not have read any.
- The railing outside the college shall be renamed as the Podar Katta and shall constitute the official campus of the students of the college for lack of a better facility.
- The college reserves the right to make rules, bye-laws, amendments or modifications thereto, without prior sanction the Senate to govern the day to day functioning of the itself and may delegate such powers or authorities to such persons as may be decided from time to time.
Copyrights with Pooja B. and Satsheel
