How NOT to celebrate someone else's IPL win !

1. DO NOT hold the cup to your chest tightly as if you have won it yourself. Let the real winners share the limelight.

2. DO NOT call the owner of the team as a city boy from your city. He stays miles away in another city.

3. DO NOT treat the whole team as belonging to your city. You just lent it its name. There are hardly any players from the name-worthy city in that team.

4. DO NOT give away gold medals to the players when your state is under a huge pile of debt. Else, do not blackmail the centre to wave it off.

4. DO NOT become an event manager and puppeteer the crowds and the people on the dais to dance to the tune you want them to dance to.

5. DO NOT also become a policewallah and make people stand in a line. You are supposed to be leading the state not the parade.

6. DO NOT control the crowds. Let them have freedom of speech and expression.

7. DO NOT make the country feel people from this state have lot of free time. We toil day after night to keep the GDP afloat.

8. DO NOT use the occasion of someone else's IPL win to launch a PR campaign. Your image will only worsen.

9. DO NOT treat IPL as Olympics. They are but a mere private sporting event with negligible significance. Instead sponsor a few players so they can win us medals in the Olympics and make us proud.

10. And last but not the least, did you seriously fold your hands in a namaste position when the national anthem was being played? Bow down to thee O great statesman!



Disclaimer: The above is a work of pure fiction. Any resemblance to any person, dead or alive or place or whatsoever is purely coincidental. The writer of the blog does not bear any liability whatsoever.

Korbo Lorbo Jeetbo Re

Running past flickering crowds wandering aimlessly outside the stadium, we finally reached Gate 2, in the hands of the security. Ajinkya was as usual getting hyper restless. I Amar and Kunal cared more for our throats than the 2 minutes of the inaugurals. So we filled our hands with 5 cans of soft drinks and rushed up the stands. The Captains it seems had returned from the stage and currently they were preparing for the next performance. Our seats were not what one would envy us for. But then that didn't matter at all... Finally we settled ourselves and began texting/calling the entire world that we were at the IPL! How typical! The performances were lukewarm considering the scale at which the event was taking place. But hell... I got to see ABBA perform , L-I-V-E! Beat that! The others were a shade of what their fame speaks about them. Deepika was hardly visible from where we sat but the crowd seemed to be ignorant of this fact as they cooed at her steps. The other performances came and went by, making me quite impatient for the start of the match. The teams made their presence on the field at around 8 p.m. and began practising. Why couldn't they practice before, unnecessarily wasting time now. The captains walked in with Ravi Shastri and the Match officials for the much awaited toss. Gilli won the toss and the Deccan Chargers chose to field. Before the match began, I was quite unbiased when it came to supporting either teams. Who cared if Kolkata won or Hyderabad? Was playing? Then why take borrowed tension? The toss took place even as the other players were busy practising. I didn't get who won but KKR were certainly batting first. The ground was cleared and the players assembled to take their positions.
suddenly a voice spoke, much like Dumbledore, asking the captains and the referee whether they were ready to start the play. This was a new innovation and took most of us by surprise as we soon found out that it was Rudi Koertzen, the on-field umpire. I guess it was Vaas who came to bowl first. Let me inform you that watching a match live is not very amusing for your eyes. It's very tough to identify anyone. Unless of course you are their wives. Anyways, so Vaas starts the run up. The entire stadium went silent. And a collective aaaahh erupts as it's a first ball DUCK!!! Hahaha!!! KKR 1 down for none! And then Dada walked in, with him the stadium went up dada, dada, dada... 4th ball and Dada also got out! It seemed KKR were going to get bowled out in a few overs.
Ajinkya had other plans as usual and I feel he certainly has the leadership instincts. He went to the next level to look out for better seats. He came back to call us and we nervously vacated our seats.
The view from the second level was more spectacular but the guards didn't allow me and Amar to enter and asked for our tickets. I like an obedient chap gave him and was directed to my original place. Kunal and the others managed to sneak in though. We went downstairs with a dejected face. But we weren't going to accept defeat yet. I suggested that we try going to the upper level from another entrance. Alas! The guard here too was vigilant and asked me for my ticket. Maybe he wasn't wearing specs as he coolly allowed us to enter and make ourselves comfortable. The match wasn't helping to make our situation entertaining. It was simply drudging along.
Although, Amar was very happy KKR was losing, I was more worried about the match getting over soon and we not getting our Paisa vasool! The match progressed and KKR got a useful partnership to post a 161er for Dc to win! Meanwhile we had managed to shift ourselves to where the others were located. The match looked livelier from there. The crowd was better and more engrossed, with people having their loyalties set. In front of us was a group of 6-7 guys. What caught my attention was the fact that one of them was constantly eating. And eating not only what was in his hands but also from everyone else's stuff. I found that very funny. Anyways the break went by and the second half resumed. The match got interesting with a few not so early wickets. The crowd caught the electric atmosphere and was charged enough to generate a few Mexican waves. There were a few feeble attempts by a guy straight down in front of us. He was by far the most enthusiastic. Shouting, egging others to shout, dance, dancing himself, drinking, telling the people from adjacent stands to respond to his Mexican wave calls... Rising with the crowd for the waves was an enchanting experience in itself. Amar wasn't enjoying the proceedings though. He was aghast with DC losing wickets after wickets and KKR tightening the noose. Quite a few celebs had turned up to cheer for KKR such as Arjun Rampal, Dino Morea, Juhi Chawla, et al.
The crowd was also enjoying the visible pleasures of the so-called 'cheer' leaders. They seemed to cheer any side which scored or took wickets. Identity crisis!
The people in front of me has already started fighting for every Six or every Wicket! They were visibly divided into 2 camps - one for the Bongs and the other for the Nizams! Swearwords were simply pouring from both ends. The match was nearing its end and it was getting tenser. Every ball counted and every run mattered. Majority of the crowd seemed to support KKR, courtesy SRK. Finally KKR won, not by bowling the other side but by exhausting the quota of 20 overs.
It was a perfect ending the beginning of season 3 with a last over finish! KKR had finally won their first match.
All I could say was,
The Bongs have it, The Bongs have it, The Bongs have it !!!

Aay Pee Yell?

I seriously feel that if you leave me from the count, majority of the world will seem crazy to you~ And that certainly is no understatement! What started with a casual call at 1 p.m. to say hello, turned out to be the day changer for me blessing me with the craziest cricketing extravaganza of recent times. But Ajinkya had different plans and he didn't ask me to come till 4.30 p.m. For general information, the show was to start at 6 p.m. and was to happen at that godforsaken village called Nerul, which is leagues away from my house. They had just left from Lonavala having picked up Amar and that is when they called me and I made a mad rush to Nerul. Now as destiny would have it I got into a fast train at Dadar. You can certainly imagine the sense of pride and satisfaction that an average Mumbaikar has when he manages to get a train which he wants without having to pause at the station. I was so relieved... I was expectantly waiting for Kurla to come... Matunga, Sion..... Kurla comes, Kurla goes.... What ? It went? But... How? Ajinkya was relentlessly calling me to know my location and I had no idea what was going on. I managed to ask a fellow passenger very feebly as to which station will the train stop at? 'Thane'! 'Thane'! God why did I have to erroneously step into a super fast. Pathetic Central Railways cannot even display it anywhere. so Thane it was to be. I kept on calculating the time it would take me to take a Thane fast to Kurla and then the slow to Nerul. Ajinkya would surely would have buried me there itself. Now even Gaurav had added to the 'where are you' party. But then again, was providence would have it, there was a Panvel train waiting, it seemed only for me, at Thane station. I bought tickets and got myself a seat. I was travelling by this route for the first time and I must say the Indian Railways saved my day. The moment I alighted from the train I began running towards the stadium. Huff Puff... Left right... I met Kunal and Amar outside the stadium and we made a dash for Gate 2... I was entering a live stadium for the first time ever in my life!!! Aay Pee Yell here I come!!!